Every now and again, I go through and I ‘weed’ my facebook. I may delete those who I haven’t met, don’t contact, or are friends-of-friends-of-friends. I may remove notifications of those winey people on facebook, the angry people of facebook, and those who don’t understand social media is not your personal journal.
The past year I have been weeding my friendships. I have found toxic people really bring you down and slow your accomplishments and taint your positive vibes and energy. Have you ever noticed after catching up with a friend with negative energy, you feel negative yourself? I have. I am guilty of it and am making big changes to see myself succeed in 2015. Most of these people I have been decreasing contact with over a period of time. Here are my top 5 toxic friends:
1) The friend that catches up just to off load. You know, the one that cuts you off and doesn’t let you finish a story? The one that always seems to have a problem to vent about for 90% of the time you’ve been at the café. Guess what? She’ll always have a problem. She doesn’t want a solution. She wants to vent. I limit friends like these to less frequent visits.
2) The friend that is always angry. The one’s that don’t just talk about their problems, they yell about them. You relive their arguments blow by blow and at the same volume. I limit these friends to visits where I am with a large social group. If she’s having a rant I can just walk over and talk to someone else.
3) The perpetual train wreck. You need these out of your life ASAP. These ones are always struggling. Life is never easy for them. They thrive in a life of struggle, pain and drama. They constantly complain that they want their life to be better and simpler but never actually put the very simple steps in place to stop the issues that ‘plague’ them so. They view others that ‘have-it-together’ as people who have been gifted their life, overly privileged or seem to have things ‘fall into their lap’. Misery loves company, and they will do anything to give you their negative state of mind. I find it really difficult to say anything nice about them, which in turn is turning me into a nasty person. I refuse to become a nasty person because they are. Cut and run. Or decrease to minimal contact.
4) The unreliable friend. Ugh. You know how you cancel running chores one afternoon to see a friend, only to have them cancel an hour or so before you were due to see them? That’s fine. Things pop up and genuine problems like work and sickness happen. But when they cancel more than they show up for a flaky excuse, things start to play on your mind. Are you their second choice if nothing better comes up? You lose productivity. Imagine all those chores and errands you could have completed. Perhaps they’re taking your availability for granted.
5) The tardy friend. We all have one. It’s really annoying. Its not like they’re 20 min late, they’re like an hour plus late. Its unacceptable. I feel like every time people are ridiculously late they are saying ‘me fluffing around taking my sweet ass time to get ready is more important than whatever Ellie had to do later today’, ‘Ellie doesn’t do anything all day’, or ‘my time is more valuable than hers’. If its only happened a couple of times, its fine but if they are a serial offender perhaps rethink just how they view you (which I can say- is with little respect).
6) The bitchy friend. You know that friend that tries to bond by bitching about everyone you mutually know? Yeah. Be sure she’ll bitch about you too.
You may find these types of friends similar to friends you may have. I find that when I am around these people, I say things I shouldn’t which in turn, makes me
just as bad worse than them as I know better. People play an enormous role in your life as to where you go and what you achieve. Be the person that uplifts, motivates, inspires and energizes their friends regardless of how close you are, and expect the same from those around you.