I have been meaning to post for a while but I have been …detoxing. Yes, detoxing from Facebook. It’s an addiction I had for a while, and had no idea how bad it got until it was out of control.
You know that feed on the right hand side above the chat bar? I was watching and up-to-date on all of those.
You know those weight loss and fitness groups? I can think of 6 I belonged to off the top of my head.
And another 4 pregnancy or parenting related ones. …but most likely more.
I would spend way too much time reading through the forums/groups/pages. I would watch other people post things about their lives and in a cruel addiction that took away the opportunity to live my own life. I have a child. She deserves more than a mother attached to the tv, computer, or phone at all times. I am phasing all 3 appliances out of my life. I am not going to rid them from my life completely- lets be realistic. But they will not consume me.
My steps for getting my Facebook addiction in control:
1- Delete Facebook off your phone. It’s excessive. You don’t need it. Your life won’t change if you find out Cheryl is on a date with Brad or if Monique went and booked another Contiki trip. Freakin’ really? Chances are if you don’t think anyone on Facebook overshares- then you are that over sharer. Facebook on your phone adds up time quickly to your daily usage- a few minutes before getting out of bed, or before going to sleep, whilst waiting for the bus, or maybe your one of those fantastic couples that Facebook whilst out on a date?
2- Change your password to something really over the top and elaborate. Something you have a snow flakes chance in hell remembering- write it down and put that piece of paper out of the way. I’m talking in a different room. Don’t be one of those people that delete their Facebook. You just look stupid when you log on the following day.
3- Log out of Facebook from your computer/tablet/whatever.
4- Detox. Go through the crazy moment that you realize you have lost so much time in your life. The bitter sweet moment of realizing you have X amount of hours extra in your day (yes the 20-30min first thing in the morning and last thing at night count).
5- Return after a week. Wait it out a whole week. You’ll realize something when you do and be prepared for it: No one missed you. If they did they would have emailed, called, texted, or whatever else you are in to. Those emails I had? From acquaintances. The notifications? I had a measly 8- they included spam invites to a night club, comments on a pic announcing engagement or something along those lines, and a few other things so meaningless I can’t even remember. I cannot believe I wasted hours of my day each and every day for that! I scrolled through my news feed and found myself a mixture of pissed off, bored, and lonely. I had created this fake world with fake friends. People who like your comments or status updates, people who tag you occasionally, but ultimately don’t give a flying shit about you. This was the most depressing moment of my week. I am 24, recently engaged, a new mum, and have 3 (maybe 4 friends if you include 1 ‘friend’ who really gets on my nerves). Since I had my baby, I can count on 1 hand how many ‘friends’ have come to visit or asked to catch up. People who I spend all day at work with, talk on Facebook with, don’t care about me. I was naïve and way too hopeful. Facebook creates this fantastic world that covers up all the things wrong in your life. I had to really realize this to fix it. It was brutal. Ugh, step 5 really brought me down. …Maybe I should’ve waited 2 weeks.
6- Don’t go back on it more than twice a week. You won’t miss anything. Here is the trick for going back on: don’t spend more than 20 min on Facebook each time you return.
7- Start looking at other forms of technology you are clinging to– TV? Surfing the internet mindlessly? Checking emails? Instagram? Internet shopping? Start making an action plan for ridding excessive use from your life.
8- Get excited about all the things you can do with all your free time. I baked bread from scratch over the weekend with my daughter and again yesterday. She is only 12 weeks but loved touching the dough! We go for walks, she watches me garden, I call my family members and actually talk to them, I research useful things, I read, and now I am actively present in spending time talking to, reading to and playing with my daughter. I have recently started reading fiction again. An actual book! I am so excited to see how much I have read by the end of the year.
Remember: You will never have this day to live again. Your children will never be this age again. Every moment wasted cannot be retrieved. You have one shot at this. This is it.